Helping your child adjust to a newborn sibling

Strategies for maintaining balance and connection

Bringing a new baby home is an exciting time, but for an older sibling, it can also be a big adjustment. Their world has suddenly changed, and they may feel a mix of emotions—excitement, curiosity, confusion, or even jealousy. Helping your child navigate this transition with reassurance and care will make it easier for them to bond with their new sibling while feeling secure in their own place in the family. Here are some simple strategies to help maintain balance and connection during this time.

1. involve them in baby care

Giving your child small, age-appropriate ways to help can make them feel valued and included. Toddlers can fetch nappies or sing to the baby, while older children might enjoy helping with bath time or choosing an outfit. The key is to make them feel like an important part of the process rather than a bystander.

2. set aside special one-on-one time

With a newborn needing constant care, an older child may start to feel overlooked. Even a few minutes of dedicated time each day can make a big difference. It could be reading a bedtime story, going for a short walk, or simply having a cuddle and chat. Letting them choose the activity makes it even more meaningful.

3. acknowledge their feelings

Your child may express a range of emotions, from excitement to frustration. Let them know their feelings are normal and that it’s okay to feel upset or unsure at times. If they say they don’t like the baby, resist the urge to correct them immediately. Instead, try saying, “It sounds like you’re feeling a bit left out. I understand. Do you want to talk about it?” Giving them space to express their emotions helps them feel heard and reassured.

4. create a "big sibling" role

Help your child feel proud of their new role by focusing on the positives of being a big brother or sister. Talk about how lucky the baby is to have them and how they’ll get to teach their sibling new things as they grow. Some families find that a small "big sibling gift" or a badge helps reinforce this sense of importance.

5. maintain familiar routines

A new baby brings a lot of change, but keeping certain routines in place helps your child feel secure. Try to keep mealtimes, bedtime stories, or playtime as consistent as possible. Familiarity provides comfort during this transition.

6. encourage bonding in their own way

Not all children will immediately warm to their new sibling, and that’s okay. Some might want to help with everything, while others may prefer to watch from a distance. Let them interact in their own time and on their own terms, whether it’s by talking to the baby, showing them a toy, or simply sitting nearby.

Adjusting to a newborn in the house is a process, but with patience, reassurance, and small moments of connection, your child will gradually find their own special place in this new family dynamic. By making them feel included and valued, you’ll be helping to lay the foundation for a loving sibling relationship.